The Fear

Los Angeles 30.07.2010

Dear Em,

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love". I think the quote has to do with god loving you, which I don't really know much about, but I've been thinking about being afraid.

I was always told to be brave. "Ole reipas ja rohkea". You can't really be brave tho, without being afraid.

So I'm afraid of bees and the dark. And yes I am 12, thank you very much.

Bees because when I was maybe 10 one latched it self on to me and stang me about hundred million and seven times on my arm. I was paralyzed of terror, stared at the bug in horror, my skinny arm extended and screamed on the top of my lungs for about 10 minutes (approximately how long it takes for a bee to sting you hundred million and seven times) and did nothing. Literally felt every sting but instead of shaking the bee off kept hysterically screaming and stood still. I was eventually saved by my dad who's hearing is probably permanently damaged because of this incident.

The dark really for the same reason why anyone is afraid of it. Cause crazy human eating rape monkeys lurk in the dark.

Other than that I really don't have any other great fears.

I mean ofcourse once in a while I'm worried that I have a brain cancer when I keep smelling the smell of popcorn or vanilla ice cream for hours and no one else can smell it (I saw it in House once and have been slightly paranoid ever since) or that I will end up designing those plastic shoes they sell at gas stations or fake crocs hating every second of it and end up spending my life waiting for the clock to be five. Or that I'll never get to buy my dream motorbike or house by the sea or actually ever learn to speak French.

These fears however don't paralyze me. I'm not standing still in pain.

They thrive me.

With Love,

Diana and I

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