Dear Emmi,

Wow. So sitting in the double decker bus number 55 I red your last letter. Clearly cried. Thank you very much. Next time a warning, please:)

But yes indeed, I miss the morning walks! I will take you to Victoria Park when you come, we will get lattes from across the park (capuccino for me), walk along the canals and watch the people living in the boats. Some people fish. You will like it.

This night I went to a bike ride. The sky was breath-taking as the sun set. When something is so pretty it sometimes chokes me a little. It's hard to think theres no God when you see a sky like that.
This is my favorite light. The really yellow one. When sun is just about to start setting. I sent a picture like this one to a friend. In the photo the sun is touching a bare wall and its really beautiful.
She said it's God giving me a kiss.

Tuesday I was on the train on my way to North Hampton. We talked about whats happening with the church in Finland at the moment. 18 000 people left the church within a few days, for something that a politician said. A person said. God must have not said much to these people ever. A quiet one maybe?

Next to me was sitting a musician. He said his friend worked at war zones. Helping people. She says there is no loving God.

"If there was, He would never let those children blow up to little pieces like that. She's seen them. Little pieces. "

And here we are! Shots. Drinkable ones, not the gun related ones. Obviously.

Little pieces of children.

Seems like a distant thought here. But all this talk about God.. and loving God. Makes me wish there was a loving man. Not like a guy, I mean like a human. As a kind. We are not sure if God is allowing them kids to blow up.

But we do know a man is doing it.

"How great the works of man and the things he makes
How great – then how great the Creator?
Though he strives to reach the heavens
He can barely survive
The wars of the world he lives in."
- Cat Stevens

I'll say it again.

We are Gods hands.

With love, Kirsikka


I wait and you always come back

Helsingissä 9. lokakuuta 2010

Dear Kirsikka,

I don’t know which is worse. Staying or leaving. With you I always feel that I’m staying. I wait. And eventually you always come back.

--Put an ocean and a river, between everybody else

Between everything, yourself and home

Put an ocean and a river

Between everything, yourself and home--

I found pictures of you that I took that fall when we met. They are black and white. You are sitting on the sidewalk and climbing on a tree. I walk pass that place a lot these days. The place where the pictures were taken at. It reminds me of you.

The first time you left we were 17. I really missed you but now I’ve learnt that I didn’t tell you strong enough. When you came back something had changed.

--You must be somewhere in London

You must be loving your life in the rain

You must be somewhere in London

Walking Abbey Lane --

You’ve been coming and going but never have I felt this sad about it. After you left I went for a walk. You know the route: pass the small cafe, ducks, chairs in the water. Then over the bridge, over the railways. Good morning alcoholics and the man in the suit. Cafe lattes and cappuccinos at Sininen huvila. The walk home. I took photos by myself and thought of you. Nothing was the same.

--Famous angels never come through England

England gets the ones you never need

I'm in a Los Angeles cathedral

Minor singing airheads sing for me--

You once said that leaving is easy. Staying is the hard part.

But this time you’re waiting for me too. You wait and I promise to be there.

--You must be somewhere in London

You must be loving your life in the rain

You must be somewhere in London

Walking Abbey Lane--

With Love, Emmi

quote: The National - England


In n' Out.

London 07.10.2010
Dear Emmi,

As you know I had a wonderful visit to Helsinki and about 2 weeks ago
I packed up again and had my last night with your self and few others.
Telling secrets,lighting cigarettes with your oven
and smoking from your kitchen window.

It was really great to be back.
Leaving LA felt really hard and I know I left a corner of my heart there.

But being back reminded me I had also left one with you all.

These pictures were taken from a club I visited with our common friend Bella.

These two ladies were a part of a burlesque show that we never saw due to showing up too late.
What show seriously starts at nine??

However, the young bloods put up a show of their own.

The dancing queens.
Someone vomited violently on the bathroom floor.
Of course.

One of the girls said: "are you a student?"
"yes, but perhaps not a student like you", I said.
"oh, yeah don't worry, not everyone started this year, some of these people are really old. like born in 1986 old", she said.

Vodka battery I believe. Such a mistake to mix vodka with that rubbish. I think.

Ja diskoboltsi.
(Sekoboltsi on mun ehk lempi Suomen kielen sana.
Ajattelin nyt lisätä sen tähän kert kukaan ei oo estämässä)
We signed and thanked. And left.

And I thought of the time I did what those kids did
and one time me and a friend both puked in the bathroom, (vodka battery perhaps)
( not on the floor tho )
laughed like it was the funnies thing ever happened to us
and ran back to the bar.

Honestly I still think it was pretty funny.

With Love, Kirsikka

Ps. I can't wait for you to come for a visit! 4 weeks!
And it will be my birthday. I'm ridiculously excited.
Counting days.
And I swear the time has stopped.