Usually but not today

Helsingissä 18. tammikuuta 2011

Dear Kirsikka,

Usually it hits me right about this time of the year. It makes me anxious, nervous and blue. I start to think if I have any reason to stay. I wonder if grass would be any greener on the other side. And it WOULD, you know how awful it can get. So dark, so grey.

--Burning bridges shore to shore
I break away from something more--

So usually I've wanted to get out of Finland at least semi permanently. I crave sunshine and warmth and to be as far away from my routines here as possible.

I say "usually" because this winter hasn't given me the creeps. Not even when I look at these pictures from last summer. (I'm sorry I don't have anything new with Diana yet. So I need to bring the Spinner 360° back! Remember to click to enlarge!)

Actually this autumn was one the best of my life. And when things are really good, I don't really need to be anywhere else. When you're happy you enjoy even the coldest of weathers. It is really crazy to realize because I've hated winter for a long time. (Not when I was a child because you get to wear that super warm saving uniform called "haalari". God I miss that.)

I've learnt that you really shouldn't cling on the past nor dream of the future but to focus on NOW. I'm learning to do that.

--Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch
And life's too short for me to stop--

But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't enjoy the greatest of memories through pictures like these or a song or a scent that reminds you of something extraordinary. I love love love your last photos. They are so beautiful and make me think on Total Eclipse. You know what I'm talking about.

As a matter of fact I think I'm going to reminisce about autumn 2010. Just like I'm looking at these photos now. I didn't know it then tho. Actually I was a bit sad at the moment. But that moment was a beginning of something far more better than the past.

--This time I'll be bulletproof--

With Love,

Emmi and the Spinner

quote: Bulletproof - La Roux

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